Etiquette of Meeting and Their Importance

[Derived from an article on the subject written by Hazrat Mir Muhammad Ishaq (may Allah be pleased with him) published in Daily Al-Fazl, Rabwah (August 6, 2004, page 4)]

There are several kinds of gathering and meetings that take place in the society. While a meeting can be of a wedding or joyous occasion, the other can be of mourning on a sad occasion. Yet another can be of a religious nature where the religious or organizational matters are discussed. It is important to realize that when two or more people get together, several kinds of unintended vices may creep in. For example, a lonely person cannot indulge in backbiting. A person only commits this kind of sin when he is in the company of others. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that we be extremely careful when we attend any kind of meeting or gathering.

Here are a few etiquette of meeting:

• When one is going to attend a meeting, he should never run to join the meeting. One must walk calmly to the meeting place.
• Do not jump over the shoulders of others to find a seat or a better seat. Sit down wherever you find a place to sit. Allah admonishes that a believer should never jump over the shoulders of other worshippers at the Jumu’ah Prayer. You lose the reward of your Jumu’ah if you do so. If you do not find a place to sit down in the front rows, just sit down behind the other people who are already there.
• Do not indulge in useless activities while attending a meeting. Do not move or shake tables, chairs, or other things around you. Sit quietly and calmly and be mindful of others. Do not speak or move or shake your hands or feet.
• Do not talk to or whisper into the ears of the person sitting next to you.
• Asking someone to remain quiet with your tongue is not an acceptable behavior either. You may only use hand gesture for this purpose.
• Yawning, cracking knuckles, or stretching while attending a meeting is quite a bad mannerism. One should keep himself and his limbs in control during a meeting. Allah commands us not to play with pebbles while sitting in a meeting. (Nowadays, this is akin to playing with your cell phone/smart phone or similar gadgets.)
• Listening attentively to the speaker is a required behavior.
• Make room for others in the meeting place. Do not unnecessarily occupy extra space by sitting loose in a meeting. Do so only if asked.
• Do not leave a meeting without the permission of the chair. Request permission and leave if granted one.
• Face the speaker, the chair, or Imam when attending a meeting. Do not let your eyes wander around. Be attentive and listen carefully what is being said.
• When you hear a good advice, note it down, no matter how minor it may be.
• Stand up if and when you need to ask a question. To stand up when asking a question is considered a good manner.
• Do not utter any words if you want to ask a question. Just stand up (or raise your hand) and be quiet. The chairperson will address you if he wants to.
• Only address the chairperson in a meeting and no one else. (No side conversations or getting into arguments with other attendees is allowed.)
• If something foul happens, do not start laughing and embarrass the other person. It is quite possible that this thing may happen to you as well.
• Do not stand up on your own in order to pay respect if someone superior in rank or status enters the meeting. To pay or not to pay respect is the right of the chairperson and no one else.
• Do not eat or drink anything which may cause discomfort to others due to bad breath. Do not wear dirty or smelly clothes. Attend a meeting wearing neat and clean garments after taking a bath or shower. Similarly, it is a bad manner to spit around at the meeting place or while attending a meeting.
• After the conclusion of the meeting, help the organizers to stack up the chairs or putting away other items brought in to conduct the meeting. Many a times, the attendees just stand up and walk away at the conclusion without thinking twice about helping out. A few organizers are left alone to clean up the mess. This is not a good manner. You must offer help in putting away the fixtures and furniture after the meeting.
• Do not ask anyone to vacate a seat for you. Similarly, if someone temporarily leaves his place he has the right to claim his seat upon his return. No one else should occupy his seat.
• When you leave a meeting at its conclusion, indulge in Istighfar (Allah’s forgiveness) for it is quite possible that you may have unknowingly or unintentionally done something wrong during the meeting which may come back to haunt you.